Wed like to set additional cookies to understand how you use GOV.UK, remember your settings and improve government services. I popped out from work, telling my boss I'd be back in half an hour. This time, they discovered the baby has a two vessel cord (only one vessel from placenta to baby instead of two) and I've been monitored to make sure the baby grows properly and kidneys aren't damaged. I want to stop having such horrible thoughts. The consultant explained that this was just very bad luck and not, as far as they knew, genetic. As I say, I'm not a very nice person at the moment. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, "it didn't look good" and that "my womb looked raggedy". Hugely upset that to think that the baby was so poorly. . I couldn't bear to see the baby and asked the midwife to take him away immediately. Soon, the doctor came and inserted the tablets that would induce labour. Most scans are carried out by specially trained staff called sonographers. And that was Monday afternoon. At first, I still had to deal with the physical implications of having given birth. Being deeply unhappy and kind to others at the same time is nigh on impossible. Again, we weren't understood. But it's bloody hard being miserable the whole time. We need to have your opinion'. It is extremely rare for these pregnancies to reach term as they typically spontaneously miscarry early in pregnancy. I swallowed the tablet and we left the building. All my plans were beginning to fall down. And at that, I let out a scream I think. Life expectancy of 30 or 40. I had no issues at my 20wk scan with DD - and neither did any of my antenatal group (9 mums). The hormone levels had dropped, but they wanted to scan me again. Has anyone been told the sex incorrectly at their 20 week scan? I was becoming numb to the whole process. I noticed the box of tissues on the table. I wanted to let nature take its course. And I assumed my partner would feel the same. You've had a scan, you've had the blood tests, you've been good. Actually you could tell from the brain development as he scanned up through the chambers of the brain, that one quarter of the brain, one chamber was not evident. She didn't want to see the baby. . Cardiac surgery can do some amazing things. 12/12/2012 22:41. If one of the conditions is found or suspected, the sonographer may ask for a second opinion from another member of staff. Entering the labour ward, I waited for someone to say, "Go home, you are 16 weeks too early." You will be able to discuss this with your midwife or consultant. Like many things, the theory is very different from the reality. We left the hospital a couple of hours later. That he was small. And there [sighs] was a very dark patch over one, where the eye socket was, and they didn't know it, in the Edward's babies sometimes the eyes don't develop properly, or it might have been bleeding, they weren't very sure. Some hospitals do offer earlier anomaly scans of the baby, but they will not show as much detail as scans performed between 18 and 20weeks. The consultant had said it wouldn't be like a normal delivery. A few people recalled how frightened and alarmed they became when they sensed that the atmosphere in the scanning room changed in an instant from 'jokey' to serious when the baby's problems were detected. I sat and waited to be called for my scan. I remember thinking, 'that doesn't look quite right'. So we decided that, to have the scan and we went along I think early in the week for that, and spent quite a lot of time with the consultant after that. You've had, you've had your Down's Syndrome check and that's okay. This scan takes place between 18 weeks and 20 weeks 6 days of pregnancy and is commonly called the 20-week scan. It was another consultant, who said, "I'm afraid I have some bad news - your baby has Down's syndrome." The ultimate betrayal. Tears started to roll down my face. 80 percent of my pregnancies have ended in death and I felt like they were telling me those babies didn't matter. Please ask your hospital about this before your appointment. Or, at the very least, heart problems. Baby loss support For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. I felt empty, scared, guilty and incredibly heartbroken. We talked all night and thanked God for crap television. But you know I knew we had, we had to make a decision that was right for the baby as well. And it all seemed so near at hand, you know, 31, 30 weeks, you feel like you're nearly, you're on the home stretch. I did think it was a bit strange that she wasn't talking, and then she sort of said, 'Oh, I think there's a problem. I was disgusted - disgusted that such a tablet existed, let alone that I should have to take it. I've still had no cramps or bleeding so fingers crossed everything is ok I just couldn't believe I fell down the stairs, I can't remember the last time I ever did that! As I waited for the doctor back on the EPU unit. So we had to go in and out a couple of times, and we were just waiting around for ages and ages. And shortly after that, that scan we'd finished and the consultant leant back and said, 'I'm afraid we have some problems here'. No one else but my partner saw how similar he was to our son. He was tiny, perfect and a Down's syndrome baby. If an abnormality is confirmed or suspected, referral is usually required, although some obvious major fetal abnormalities, such as anencephaly, may not require a second opinion (this should be decided by local guidelines). So choroid plexus cysts on their own, no problem, but if there's something else wrong, then that's a problem. I can feel my child kick, it responds when he shouts at football - I mean literally, this baby used to dance around whenever he'd like scream at a goal - and there cannot be anything wrong with this child because it's part of us already. I still feel guilty, I still cry at random times. I went away and came back, and she couldn't get a good picture. I have horrible thoughts. At the time the same thing had, exactly the same thing had happened to my friend a month before, and her scan was absolutely fine. We've got the same battle scars. 18-20 week scans provide clinicians with more information than earlier scans because by18 weeks a healthy baby should be larger and better developed. And so, yeah we got to, carried on with the pregnancy, kept seeing the consultant, kept sitting in the waiting room outside, because there was a terribly long waiting time sometimes, depending on what time you had the appointment. This is not what I imagined pregnancy to feel like', Baby Loss Awareness Week - Voice Five - Bryony Seabrook. There are no known risks to your baby or the mother from having an ultrasound scan but it is important that you consider carefully whether or not to have the 20-week scan. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. The rarest scenario is that the baby is severely ill and choices will need to be made. b>Bad news at 20 week scan. Despite this new discovery, the sonographer was still concerned. But for those few days they were torture. Went off for the 20-week scan, which you didn't, you weren't there, were you, for the first scan? Eventually, the midwife said to us very sweetly, "I think we should deliver the baby now." See you in -. Sometimes it is difficult to get good views of a baby. She didn't say at the time that it was a major problem or that it was something to watch out for. I returned to be told they wanted to scan me again, another internal to see exactly what was happening. And also what the prognosis would mean for our two year old: now a very happy child, he would have a completely different childhood with such an ill sibling. Sometimes a post mortem was needed to confirm the 20-week diagnosis to see if the baby had inherited a genetic problem (such as Fowler syndrome - see 'Resources'). Somehow, I walked from the sofa up to the bathroom and told my partner. I believed at this point I had miscarried, they wanted me to come back I'm for a follow up scan. She endured many agonising rounds of scans and tests, and unfortunately met with some unhelpful attitudes from some healthcare professionals. We had the 20 week scan yesterday and got some devastating news. And that, that was when things where it started going a bit wrong. And the doctor - because it was a doctor rather then just the, a sonographer or whatever the correct term is - was scanning my wife, and she hovered over the heart of the baby and said, 'Oh there's the heart, we'll come back to that'. 10/03/2021 16:13, @Cormoransjacket The pain was bearable but uncomfortable, the hospital rang me a few days later and asked me how I was. Sometimes women were told that the sonographer had found a 'marker' or sign of a chromosomal condition and had to wait for an amniocentesis to confirm the findings. By the time I left the hospital, I was in shock. Because, when you're angry with the world for dealing you such a shit time, you begin to hate the people who populate it. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Baby loss stories And so we had to go out a couple of times, [wife] had to walk around, and she had a drink of water, which is supposed to sort of change things inside, or help the baby turn around or something because the sonographer couldn't get the measurements she wanted. 17/12/2020 17:13. And they took us out of the scanning room, into a more quiet room while they typed up the report. Living in this world must be unbearable for them. My partner tried to remain calm, and at my request rang my mum. So I sort of went home quite, fairly kind of happy and I, at, at this point I hadn't any idea things could go wrong anyway. The doctor gave her consent, and I took the four little tablets. I know its hard- but i really wouldnt worry about it too much as the worry will stress you and your body out. That was the first time I had heard him cry. And they took me to another room and they explained that the baby had what they thought was ventriculomegaly or something. The pain was excruciating, but nothing compared to how I felt inside. Looked exactly like our two year old as a baby. That he - I think I was 21 weeks and 3 days, and he was coming up at 19 weeks and 4 days, or something like that. Could you tell? But the closeness has remained after the drama has died down. Fine, go on my own. I'd had the scan in the scanning room, I can't remember what they call it now, it's silly, it's gone from my head. factor is very strong. And that was scanning up from the above the head, then you were coming up through the child's head, so you were seeing the chambers in the brain, sort of it was evident in all four chambers of the brain, then suddenly one chamber was empty. The consultant showed us the letter with our result on and, yes, there were the words "Down's syndrome". I faced another internal scan where I began to feel helpless and alone. I was then told yet again bad news. Wishing to be anywhere, but here being told the same agonising truth over and over again. And attribute some blame to them. We scattered his ashes over a bunch of snowdrops. The people who did know what was going on seemed far too sure that we were doing the right thing, that there was really no choice to be made. There was cause for concern. As though I went power mad for a week, killing my innocent unborn child, and now I am tainted for ever. So we gave up and said we'd arrange the funeral ourselves. The gel makes sure there is good contact between the probe and your skin. Wishing to be anywhere, but here being told the same agonising truth over and . They would then re-test me in two days time. Went back a week later for the scan and, you were with me for this one, weren't you? You're in and out and that was it. Not marginalised into being a victim. What would we like to do with the body? I want to be happy again. Everywhere you look, there are happy, fat, smug pregnant women. I didn't think my instincts were worth much. Because we knew that that wasn't normal, that wasn't what we'd experienced before, it wasn't just the, 'There's the arm, there's the leg, oh look the baby's moving'. I didn't want to be convincing him to agree with me. . I had to wait for a doctor to explain the situation. And I knew there was no way out. He wanted to talk about it, but I didn't. So we'd gone through the Down's syndrome or worse scare, we'd had conversations about what we would do, if it was confirmed that it was Down's syndrome or another syndrome, another sort of chromosome abnormality. A long process of blood tests, scans, doctors and hospitals. It would have been nice to see someone straight away because I was in such shock. Which she reassured us that she'd be absolutely fine, this was a one-off. But with time although we will never forget, I know we will be ok again. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). 'I was having nightmares and panic attacks. Our nightmare began when I went for my 20-week scan. And at that point I don't think we, I don't think we realised that there might have to be a decision, because we'd talked about it with, with Down's and the other possible problems, but at this point it was, well okay what can be done to fix the problem - because yes the heart's not developing properly but there must be something we can do. The chances that anything bad will be discovered are v v small. Usually, sonographers will ask a senior sonographer colleague to confirm findings and this should be done immediately. We didn't feel we could tell anyone what was happening. You might be offered another test to find out for certain if your baby has one of the conditions. I went home feeling crushed; Sam and I both felt helpless. It is essential that all practitioners performing fetal anomaly ultrasound screening should be trained to communicate abnormal findings to women, as such information is likely to have significant emotional impact. Some say this estimate is really below the reality, and the out-of-pocket average costs are higher. We bought little outfits, teddies, and researched all the vitamins and foods that I could eat. As I lay down, and the sonographer started, I could see there was something wrong. And again, you know, you read all the books and it tells you 'this is the diagnostics', but after a while you don't hear that inside your head any more No, no, no, I'm fine - because everything's perfect. My partner's face was lit up, seeing the baby for the first time. But he was wrong. I'm trying to understand because I haven't seen a 3-D scan, what it tells the parents? Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans And of course some other measurements she needed to take like the width of the skull, which she couldn't take because the fetus was in the wrong position. That they could have spotted something, or not? You may like someone to come with you to the scan appointment. Only this time, no cry came. It was probably all right but hadn't had any fluid in it at the moment. The blood test confirmed it was twins. Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. The only thing you're thinking now is the birth, and what if something goes wrong in the birth? My belly was growing and I was feeling great. I should stop being dramatic and pessimistic. This was on the Friday. It felt like a lifetime to reach our 12-week-scan. The weeks since that day have been very weird. However, at the time neither of us could articulate that. You have accepted additional cookies. I had to wait yet another sleepless night. And then, so I went to my next scan, which was the 20-week abnormality scan, and we took our first child with us, I think he was 17 months old at the time. So he went out for a walk. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). And I couldn't escape the feeling that I was being selfish. And in this instance the scan was very evident that there was something very seriously wrong. So at 20 weeks I went for my scan with my husband, with my daughter, to get our photographs. So he was about two weeks smaller than what he should have been. And the next day we went back to the hospital and we had another scan with a specialist, and he confirmed it was a condition called holoprosencephaly, which I'd never heard of any of these words before, they were just such long words. This one cannot show you anything, that's what's inside your mind. We went in, had a scan, I can't remember the exact sequence of events because the baby was still in the wrong position. Find more information and details of support groups on NHS.UK. It feels very lonely and isolating. And it's, I can't remember exactly what it was now, it's about where the brain is supposed to form. And how wrong could they be? We bought a two tests that evening (quite lucky as I messed the first one up!). I pray it's just her heart but I can't see anything else is wrong as I have been scanned by a consultant since I was 14 weeks and every time he has said everything looks okay and she is growing consistently. I remember thinking, 'Gosh' I now know it was a girl, I didn't know that then, that, 'She looks just like her brother'. I travelled to work that day feeling amazing. I had my little leaflet, printed off leaflet about choroid plexus cysts. In order for the sonographer to get good images of your baby, the scan is carried out in a dimly lit room. The next day, it was confirmed that my bloods had again dropped. She brought up a picture of the heart on the screen. You've had your, you know, you've had your triple test and everything was fine. It took 20 minutes to push him out. I think I was about 20 weeks cos they, the hospital I think did the 12 and the 20, that was their standard thing and, yeah, so I got the 20 weeks one. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. Though the 18-20 week scan can detect when certain parts of the baby's body have grown abnormally, it may not be possible for clinicians to identify why it has happened or make a firm diagnosis based on the scan alone. So I no longer trusted my instincts. No discussion, no quiet contemplation. And, so they sent me home at that stage because they said the specialist wasn't available till the following day, which was awful. 2022. Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. Several women had taken young children with them to the 20-week scan because they expected to see 'nice pictures of the baby'. I had to take a tablet there and then, under the supervision of a nurse, to end the pregnancy. We had to discuss what we wanted to do with the little body after delivery. It will take only 2 minutes to fill in. Others said they were shocked because all the early diagnostic tests (e.g. Sam reassured me, but the guilt had hit me along with the feeling that our world was falling apart. 26/09/2019 22:46. He looked excited. I would be put to sleep, and when I woke up I wouldn't be pregnant any more. I didn't want to go through anymore scans. Our position in our families has shifted. Surely he couldn't have missed anything else that is so serious x. But my brain had been given a train of thought that was impossible to stop. Where we have identified any third party copyright information you will need to obtain permission from the copyright holders concerned. And then I can't remember an awful lot more about that scan apart from that feeling of searching of how to react in an unknown situation - your brain's kind of trying to work out what to say, what to do, but I had no idea what to say or what to do and I think my first thought was, does that mean our first daughter's okay? Is it the same scan or is it the same equipment? Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. In the case of a suspected abnormality, women should be seen for a second opinion by an expert in fetal ultrasound, such as a fetal medicine specialist. I think the whole experience has made me a pretty nasty person. The same unique expression he had when he saw our two year old born. The decision to terminate the pregnancy was my partner's and mine. Picture every packed football staduim up and down the country - all healthy pregnancies and births. She describes having to make a momentous decision very quickly, and the ferment of relief, guilt and grief that followed, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning. Purpose of screening. Severe chromosomal conditions such as Edwards' syndrome are now often picked up in the first trimester antenatal screening but itwill usually be more obviousat the 18- 20 week scan, though usually a firm diagnosis will not be made until one or two specialists have weighed up all available evidence about the baby - which usually means that another expert needs to scan the baby again, or until the woman has had an amniocentesis.
